What is your super power as a woman? Why is it that femininity has fascinated, emboldened and intimidated for thousands of years?
In tantra, the woman’s role in the world and in the spiritual evolution of the man, and of society at large, is of supreme importance.
There are certain everyday qualities which we can cultivate as women in order to improve our self-confidence and the way we manifest in the world. This, in turn, will improve our relationships and inspire those around us.
Often these qualities are not immediately obvious, but they give a subtle charge that make the woman who humbly displays them very magnetic and admirable.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but a true and lasting beauty, one that will keep a conscious man falling in love with you over and over, is the radiant embodiment of the qualities we are going to talk about in this article.
A superficial man is like a magpie, always attracted by something that is shiny and new, until something else comes along and steals their attention, and them, away. A conscious man is different, he’s not content with just the veneer or the fancy packaging, he wants to discover your depths. He wants a partner whose qualities compliment him and inspire them both to become the best they can possibly be.
Here, in no particular order, are those qualities that, once awakened, will attract more conscious men, women and opportunities to you, and make you an inspiring leader in your own life. It’s no coincidence that some of the most iconic female role models in history have clearly had these qualities in abundance!
Independence is a quality that has attracted human attention for a long time; notions of freedom and autonomy are the building blocks of groups and nations. All humans were given free will; and the discovery of what this means to each of our life paths is what makes us unique beings.
People admire those who have discovered what matters to them, and pursue it. Conscious people are inspired by those who follow noble or unselfish goals and visions, often independently of societal or familial expectations.
A conscious man is one who is on his life’s journey and following his vision, the woman who can embrace such a man has to also value her independence. A real woman will not make a man the sole object or motivation in her life, she will still have her own purpose and goals. A strong man needs a strong woman.
Contrary to some popular myths that powerful men seek weaker women who they can dominate, the reality is very different. A genuinely strong man is not intimidated by an independent woman, but motivated and inspired.
However, it is also important to note that neither a woman nor a man should be so independent that the space for the relationship is ignored, and both should ensure that they are fully present with each other when together.
Indeed, it is spoken about in Tantra that a couple are two strong and independent people who consciously choose to be together because the result of their union; emotionally, erotically, spiritually etc., far exceeds what is possible for them as individuals or with less compatible partners.
Therefore, working on your own goals and self-development allows a constant source of renewed energy to enter into a relationship and this helps keep the love fresh and vibrant. The independent woman allows a new her to be discovered in her depths, constantly, by the man who adores her.
A conscious man is tender, compassionate and understanding of a woman and her emotions. But a conscious woman must take ownership of her emotions and happiness; not project the responsibility for these onto her lover, or anyone else.
Personal responsibility, the foundation of which is self-awareness, allows us to understand our feelings and their origins in any given moment. We then search for the tools and means to effectively communicate these to those around us, in a calm and non-confrontational manner.
An emotionally mature woman will not create drama, blame or criticise, but will share her emotions in an honest and genuine way, being unafraid to express her vulnerability. After all, vulnerability creates intimacy. She trusts her partner to connect to her and embrace her with his masculine strength, tenderness and awareness.
Emotional maturity does not mean aloofness; in fact it is quite the opposite. To understand the depths of our emotions and those of our partner, we need to be willing to be humble; to dive into uncomfortable conversations, reveal things it’d be easier to ignore. To put ourselves in what can seem, to our egos, like emotionally risky situations, in order for the relationship to deepen or progress.
A conscious woman also needs to know how to nurture and support her beloved in his difficult moments. Sometimes all she needs to do is offer a warm embrace full of feminine love, and ask the question ‘what can I do to support you?’ Which leaves an opening for the man to ask for what he needs, if he knows! And if he doesn’t, the mature woman can be stable and emotionally responsible enough to support him selflessly in that conversation; without being reactive or taking things personally.
Playfulness and Humour
One of the great gifts a woman has is her naturally playful approach, it’s a great antidote for stopping others from taking life or situations too seriously. Men love to be active, often have their eye on the goal and can get a bit tunnel-visioned. The woman’s natural resonance with the ‘game of life’ and the energy of “Lila” – the divine play of life in the Hindu tradition – lends perspective and helps us to realise that, no matter how big or important things seem, there is something much greater and more mysterious at work in the universe.
Humour is a great tool for diffusing difficult situations and challenging the ego. It can highlight for us when our ego is out of control better than almost anything; the ego hates to feel ‘laughed at’ or ‘not taken seriously’.
In fact, our ability to not take ourselves too seriously is a great gift in relationships, and allows us to always see things from the other’s perspective. When used with awareness, it can take us outside of ourselves, simulating the meditative state of ‘witness consciousness’ and allowing us to view the situation with more detachment. This can also help us gain perspective on our character defects or behaviour patterns we need to work on; leading to faster self-transformation.
Intelligence and Stimulation
A conscious man will always be attracted to a woman who can stimulate his mind. Indeed, it is said that the mind is the largest human erogenous zone.
It is inauthentic to downplay your intelligence or opinions. Don’t be shy to share about things that interest you. Regardless of how you did at school, as aware adults we have the resources available to us to educate ourselves, through our own methods, about whatever interests us.
If your opinions are rigid and dogmatic, and you do not allow yourself to also be challenged or stimulated by your beloved’s mind, this will lead to disconnection. Authentic men want connection and depth on all levels; a beloved who is interested in improving things, understanding the world around her, and has a richness of experience which she shares in an open and stimulating way.
Women are usually more connected to the inner intelligence of the heart and soul; their intuition. Listen to your sense and don’t hold back from sharing these intuitions, even if they cannot be backed by concrete ‘facts’. This feminine wisdom is superior to logic, in that it often defies it. Exemplify for your man the openness and mental flexibility needed to trust this; in doing so you’ll also be challenging the disbelief and stigma around this type of intelligence.
Warmth and Affection
If you want to engage his heart and gain access to his emotional depths, you need to be a shining beacon of love and affection yourself. A woman who radiates warmth from her heart, who is loving, compassionate and caring, who makes small loving gestures, for no apparent reason, will always attract conscious people into her life. What we give, we receive. A woman who selflessly gives love and joy, through her presence and acts of kindness, will only attract more of this energy.
A well-adjusted man is not attracted to an ‘ice queen’, or a suffocating mother type. Those who are attracted to these types often have harmful patterns and unhealthy attachment bonds, formed in childhood, or through suffering in early relationships.
Part of the feminine mystery is the woman's magical charm and innate capacity to nurture and care about all that is in Creation. It is her resonance with the Divine Mother, the goddess, that leads a man towards his own true essence.
This is one of the greatest strengths of a woman; how she leads and guides by example, with love, compassion and selflessness. This type of love does not indulge any neediness, neither is it cold and aloof, nor rejecting the man’s emotions. In its very essence this elevated and inspiring way of loving guides a man closer to his own heart and encourages him to always act with integrity; inspired by her example.
Embracing of Femininity
If you want to attract a man who has stepped fully into his masculine power, you have to step into the fullness of your feminine power.
Fundamentally, a woman who embraces her femininity, or, as is spoken about in Tantric wisdom, has fully awoken the power of Shakti, has already mastered all the aspects previously explored in this article.
She is a full, harmonious, sensual and enchanting manifestation of these energies. This creates an irresistible force of attraction for a conscious man.
There is a lot of confusion, rejection and denigration of the feminine energies in modern society and this has led to a lot of women refusing to embrace the fullness of their feminine powers.
They would rather deny these, or reject them as being ‘below them’ or ‘unsafe’; instead cultivating masculine qualities which make it easier for them to feel powerful and accepted in a global culture that is dominated by negative masculine qualities.
The woman who embraces her femininity is strong and confident in her feminine energies; she does not use them to manipulate or control others, neither is she afraid or ashamed of them; hiding them away where no one can see them.
She is sexy, she is powerful, she is sensual, she is bold, she is confident. She is what every conscious man wants, because a relationship with her promises fulfilment of the body, mind and soul, and the gifts to awaken both partners to their full potential.
Such a woman will always be met with admiration, adoration and an overwhelming love.
As a wise man once said, “If you want to find your King, then you need to first become the Queen whom he will find completely irresistible.”
Your femininity is a gift, an inspiration and a miracle; not just to you but to everyone around you; it is our superpower.
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